Idiot Alert
We need a zero-tolerance policy for people who play fast and loose with the English language. As I have said (in my profile - I don't know why I took the time to fill it out if you don't even bother to read it!) I am a member of the Militant Wing of the Apostrophe Protection Society. If you don't know what that is, read "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" by a very witty British lady whose (note: not who's) name I forget. I want to write to her and see if I can get a card, so I can be a card-carrying member. Here's my platform: people are lazy, and if they're (note: not their or there) not sure what is correct, they just guess. If we cut off a finger for each major grammatical/spelling error that makes it to a public venue, people will shape up, FAST. (Or end up being called Stubby.)
Enquiring minds want to know how I can be so callous?
You must understand the situation I am in, RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE. I am eating my lunch at my desk and typing. I am eating a sandwich made with rye bread. Now, there are 2 kinds of rye bread readily available at the local supermarket. (Krogers. I wish it were the Piggly Wiggly. That would be much more fun to write about.) The 2 kinds of rye bread are "rye bread" and "Jewish Rye." The difference is that Jewish Rye does NOT have caraway seeds, whereas your basic loaf of rye does. IMPORTANT FACTOID ABOUT ME: I HATE CARAWAY SEEDS. They have a semi-anise-y flavor to them that I find revolting. Considering that I have a violent reaction to anise (it goes down, it comes right back up), caraway seeds are not something I want to eat. So, even though I am not Jewish, I always make it a point to buy Jewish Rye. (No one has ever asked me for ID when I buy it, although Iran may have operatives watching these purchases.) Normally, I just stop by the deli counter and pick up a loaf of Koepplinger's Jewish Rye. Unfortunately, Kroger's was out the other night. I am standing in the bread aisle, already in a bad mood, and listening to someone else's inane cell phone call. (When I call people, it's important. When others do it, it's just annoying.) And I am trying to find a Jewish Rye. No joy. I am just about to give up and look for pumpernickel (not a bad option, but not good for toast) when - There! In the distance! I see "Jewish"! Yes, indeed, Pepperidge Farm now makes a Jewish Rye. I am thrilled! I toss the bread in the cart and go on my merry way.
Fast forward to the next morning. I am making my sandwich for work. You can already see where this is going, right? OK. I'm not going to say any more. EXCEPT...This was a clear case of false advertising. Pepperidge Farm LIED TO ME. Except they probably didn't lie. They were probably IGNORANT and TOO LAZY to find out that Jewish Rye doesn't have caraway seeds in it.
And the end result is that I am eating a sandwich made from bread that has caraway seeds in it.
Grrr.
The Big Seester
Enquiring minds want to know how I can be so callous?
You must understand the situation I am in, RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE. I am eating my lunch at my desk and typing. I am eating a sandwich made with rye bread. Now, there are 2 kinds of rye bread readily available at the local supermarket. (Krogers. I wish it were the Piggly Wiggly. That would be much more fun to write about.) The 2 kinds of rye bread are "rye bread" and "Jewish Rye." The difference is that Jewish Rye does NOT have caraway seeds, whereas your basic loaf of rye does. IMPORTANT FACTOID ABOUT ME: I HATE CARAWAY SEEDS. They have a semi-anise-y flavor to them that I find revolting. Considering that I have a violent reaction to anise (it goes down, it comes right back up), caraway seeds are not something I want to eat. So, even though I am not Jewish, I always make it a point to buy Jewish Rye. (No one has ever asked me for ID when I buy it, although Iran may have operatives watching these purchases.) Normally, I just stop by the deli counter and pick up a loaf of Koepplinger's Jewish Rye. Unfortunately, Kroger's was out the other night. I am standing in the bread aisle, already in a bad mood, and listening to someone else's inane cell phone call. (When I call people, it's important. When others do it, it's just annoying.) And I am trying to find a Jewish Rye. No joy. I am just about to give up and look for pumpernickel (not a bad option, but not good for toast) when - There! In the distance! I see "Jewish"! Yes, indeed, Pepperidge Farm now makes a Jewish Rye. I am thrilled! I toss the bread in the cart and go on my merry way.
Fast forward to the next morning. I am making my sandwich for work. You can already see where this is going, right? OK. I'm not going to say any more. EXCEPT...This was a clear case of false advertising. Pepperidge Farm LIED TO ME. Except they probably didn't lie. They were probably IGNORANT and TOO LAZY to find out that Jewish Rye doesn't have caraway seeds in it.
And the end result is that I am eating a sandwich made from bread that has caraway seeds in it.
Grrr.
The Big Seester
posted by The Big Seester | 11:54 AM
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