Just call me Grace!
So I sit here typing this post with nine fingers. Don't worry, the tenth one is still there, it's just temporarily out of commission. You'd be amazed how many things your index finger is used for - even on your non-dominant hand. Suffice it to say, my hair doesn't look as fab as usual...
So Thursday night, I decide to try a new recipe for a marinated cabbage and lemon salad with mint. (I figure cabbage is good for you AND cheap, which is a wonderful combination, except that it is usually drowning in mayo - not good for the waistline.) This is part of an endeavor to eat more fruits and veggies, in case you are wondering. So first I fail miserably at shredding the cabbage (there is clearly a geometrical equation there that I don't get, because I NEVER shred cabbage - it either ends up being big rectangular pieces or teeny tiny little bits). Then the recipe says, slice a lemon into very thin wheels. So I'm slicing and slicing and thinking, "Gosh this lemon is getting tricky to hold on to," when voop! goes the lemon and thwack! comes the knife. Then I said a swear and focused on getting to the kitchen sink before the blood started. I was successful in getting to the sink on time, I rinsed it out (you know how people make jokes about paper cuts and lemons? Well, guess what? Lemon juice stings regular cuts too!) and assessed the damage. It wasn't nearly as bad as when I cut a finger in college on a pop-top tunafish can; that time I could see the bone. This time I was sure I could stop the bleeding at home. 20 minutes later I accepted defeat (not very nicely though) and called my sister (The Clam) to ask what her plans were for the rest of the evening and would she like to accompany me to the emergency room. She gratefully accepted (she doesn't get out much) and tralala, we went to Bon Secours.
I will have you know that I only had to have one stitch, and they did it without anasthetic. I simply took a deep breath and reminded myself that all my German ancestors were watching from (hopefully) heaven, and that if I was a wimp, they would all tease me when I get there. Even the ones I never knew! I couldn't let that happen. Then the resident gave me a tetanus shot (since I don't know when my last one was - the last one I remember was the tunafish incident, which would be more than 10 years ago). On the way home, I had an interesting debate with The Clam. She is of the opinion that you should go and request a tetanus shot every ten years, whether you need it or not, whereas I am of the opinion that you should wait until you actually do yourself damage and then get one. I am sure this indicates deep differences in our philosophies of life.
And, after all that, the salad wasn't very good at all! However, I put this down to the cabbage pieces being too big - it won't marinate if they are. I will not be downtrodden though - I will try again, and this time, I have solved the lemon problem. I will slice very thinly 1/2 of 2 lemons and use the second (less grabbable) half for the lemon juice called for in the recipe. Common sense...eventually.
Lessons learned from this endeavor:
1. God doesn't want me to eat healthy - this wouldn't have happened if I was eating junk!
2. The Clam is way too careful - what's life if you can't live dangerously by not getting a tetanus shot until you need it (and yet SHE'S the former smoker - figure that one out!)
3. Years of watching tough guy movies have paid off - Steve McQueen would have said, "Now there's a girl with hair on her chest!"
4. I really should have taken geometry in high school.
The Big Seester
So Thursday night, I decide to try a new recipe for a marinated cabbage and lemon salad with mint. (I figure cabbage is good for you AND cheap, which is a wonderful combination, except that it is usually drowning in mayo - not good for the waistline.) This is part of an endeavor to eat more fruits and veggies, in case you are wondering. So first I fail miserably at shredding the cabbage (there is clearly a geometrical equation there that I don't get, because I NEVER shred cabbage - it either ends up being big rectangular pieces or teeny tiny little bits). Then the recipe says, slice a lemon into very thin wheels. So I'm slicing and slicing and thinking, "Gosh this lemon is getting tricky to hold on to," when voop! goes the lemon and thwack! comes the knife. Then I said a swear and focused on getting to the kitchen sink before the blood started. I was successful in getting to the sink on time, I rinsed it out (you know how people make jokes about paper cuts and lemons? Well, guess what? Lemon juice stings regular cuts too!) and assessed the damage. It wasn't nearly as bad as when I cut a finger in college on a pop-top tunafish can; that time I could see the bone. This time I was sure I could stop the bleeding at home. 20 minutes later I accepted defeat (not very nicely though) and called my sister (The Clam) to ask what her plans were for the rest of the evening and would she like to accompany me to the emergency room. She gratefully accepted (she doesn't get out much) and tralala, we went to Bon Secours.
I will have you know that I only had to have one stitch, and they did it without anasthetic. I simply took a deep breath and reminded myself that all my German ancestors were watching from (hopefully) heaven, and that if I was a wimp, they would all tease me when I get there. Even the ones I never knew! I couldn't let that happen. Then the resident gave me a tetanus shot (since I don't know when my last one was - the last one I remember was the tunafish incident, which would be more than 10 years ago). On the way home, I had an interesting debate with The Clam. She is of the opinion that you should go and request a tetanus shot every ten years, whether you need it or not, whereas I am of the opinion that you should wait until you actually do yourself damage and then get one. I am sure this indicates deep differences in our philosophies of life.
And, after all that, the salad wasn't very good at all! However, I put this down to the cabbage pieces being too big - it won't marinate if they are. I will not be downtrodden though - I will try again, and this time, I have solved the lemon problem. I will slice very thinly 1/2 of 2 lemons and use the second (less grabbable) half for the lemon juice called for in the recipe. Common sense...eventually.
Lessons learned from this endeavor:
1. God doesn't want me to eat healthy - this wouldn't have happened if I was eating junk!
2. The Clam is way too careful - what's life if you can't live dangerously by not getting a tetanus shot until you need it (and yet SHE'S the former smoker - figure that one out!)
3. Years of watching tough guy movies have paid off - Steve McQueen would have said, "Now there's a girl with hair on her chest!"
4. I really should have taken geometry in high school.
The Big Seester
posted by The Big Seester | 12:07 PM
2 Comments:
Dahling, your hair looks MAH-velous! You should cut your finger more often! ;-)
I still can't believe you managed even one stitch without anaesthetic...
Viking blood, baby! You have to learn how to channel greatgreatgreatgreat grandma Brunhilda...
Post a Comment
<< Home