Your Faith Is a Big Scam! Happy Easter!

I'm sure you have probably heard that James Cameron and Simcha Jacobivici "discovered the tomb of Jesus and his family" recently. (Just in time for Lent. What a surprise!) Of course, the first thing you must realize is that they didn't discover anything. The tombs were actually discovered about 25 years ago. So, unlike how we can argue about who was the first to discover America, the Vikings or Christopher Columbus, this really is some form of pseudo-scientific plagarism. I mean, what are the odds that the Vikings shared the information about their discovery with the Italians? So, when a few hundred years later, Columbus said HE was the first, he really thought he was. However, since the discovery of the tombs was 25 years ago, during these guys' lifetimes, they have no such excuse. Moreover, the original discoverers discarded the theory that what they found was THE Jesus and His family. So it's a non-story.

However, the mainstream media loooves to play with Christianity, to the point where they insinuate that if you buy into any of it, you must have been dropped on your head as a small child. (They are not nearly so brave with certain other faiths, you may notice. This is because the pope doesn't issue fatwas.) So they will play this up for all it's worth.

Now, many many people much smarter and more developed theologically than me have taken this "documentary" apart. As a matter of fact, here's a link to Jimmy Akin, one of the smartest Catholic apologists around these days: http://jimmyakin.typepad.com/defensor_fidei/2007/03/tomb_of_jesus_n.html#comments

However, here's my two cents. Like I said, I am not some master apologist or anything. This is just common sense stuff.

First of all, the names on the tombs. There's a Jesus, son of Joseph. There are two Marys. And there's a Judah, son of Jesus. Okeydokey, folks. Let's make one thing clear. Just because WE don't name OUR kids Jesus doesn't mean that nobody else did. Having a Jew from that era named Jesus is like having an Irishman named Kevin. You get a roomful of Irish Americans together and I guarantee you there will be a few Kevins. And, having a Jesus whose father's name was Joseph is like having an Irishman named Kevin whose dad is named Patrick. And Mary? Good grief! Every other woman named in the New Testament is named Mary! Rather like Jennifer for my generation. (In fact, Mary is still one of the commonest names in the world.) But last names would clear this right up. Except...there are no last names on the tombs. Know why? Because they didn't HAVE last names back then. (And, no, His last name isn't Christ! Nor is His middle initial "H".)

Second of all, and really for me this is a whole big thing about Christianity, is this: why on earth would the Apostles lie about this? No, really, think about it. You've got 11 guys (12 minus Judas, who removed himself from the picture) who, when Jesus was crucified, were TERRIFIED. Except John, they all ran away and hid. They were afraid of being arrested and killed too. Then, suddenly, they are courageous. They are fearless. They preach the Gospel - strongly and passionately. They convert thousands of people. And what earthly reward did they get for that? Death. And not just death, excruciatingly painful tortuous death. Crucified. Skinned alive. The kind of stuff that makes the electric chair seem really humane. All of them, except John. And not just them, but the people they converted. And the people those people converted. Thousands of people over three hundred plus years. Now, I know what you're thinking - well, they had to perpetuate the lie. WHY? What were they going to get out of it?

You know, I sometimes think that people think Vatican City appeared magically in Rome on Easter Sunday, AD 33. People don't realize that for CENTURIES, Christianity was illegal, and these people had no money. They were poor. Seriously poor, and without power or prestige. Just because several centuries later we had the Holy Roman Empire means NOTHING.

AND, they were sure that Jesus was returning ANY DAY. This was not Peter saying, "Hey, if we can keep mum about this while they are boiling us in oil, in 1500 years, the pope is going to have Michaelangelo paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel," and John replying, "Sweet!" The apostles had no inkling that there would ever be a Vatican City, or a papal tiara. As a matter of fact, one of the best sermons I ever heard in my life (at a Baptist church) was about Jesus' comments at the Last Supper, as recounted by John. (Chapter 15, I think.) "If the world hates you, keep in mind it hated me first. For no servant is greater than his master..." THAT is what Jesus told them they had to look forward to. So, if Jesus had really been buried in a tomb, wouldn't somebody have let that slip? I mean, Batholomew's watching them sharpening the knife they are going to SKIN HIM WITH, right? Why wouldn't he just say, "Sike! We sure had you guys fooled!" I mean, think about all the denouncing as communists that went on in this country in the 1950s. And communists were just ostracized, not brutally murdered. But people are basically cowards, and ratting comes pretty easily when things get uncomfortable for you.

But not those 11. They changed the world.

Now. All that being said, here's what you need to know. If you profess to be a Christian, whether Catholic, Orthodox or Protestant, it is a matter of dogma (non-negotiable belief) that Jesus rose from the dead, and ascended, body and soul, to Heaven. If you don't believe that, you are not a Christian. You may be a very nice person (or not), but you are not a Christian. (Catholics also believe that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was assumed, at the moment of her death, into Heaven, body and soul. But Protestants don't. So you can still be a Christian and not believe that.)

If James Cameron and Simcha Jacobvici were able to PROVE that the bones in the tomb were that of THE Jesus, then there would be no reason to be a Christian. Then, like Natalie Wood in Miracle on 34th Street, we could just all say that he was "just a nice man with a real beard" and let the rest of it go. And you know what? My life would be easier. That's right. You heard me. It would be a lot easier to not have all those pesky rules and regulations. Like last Friday, when I wanted a bacon cheeseburger so badly I could taste it, I could have had one, instead of fish. Ick. I hate fish. (Whoa! The Greek for fish is "Icthus" How trippy is THAT?!)

But they can't prove it. They won't prove it. And if you let your faith be shaken by the idiot who unleashed "My Heart Will Go On" on the world, well, all I can say is: I hear it's a dry heat down there.