Other Favorite Mr. Burns Quotes
Mankind has always dreamed of destroying the sun.
Ironic, isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. When opportunity knocks, you don't want to be driving to a maternity hospital or sitting in some phony-baloney church. Or synagogue.
I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant.
I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children.
What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?
I'm looking for something in an attack dog. One who likes the sweet gamey tang of human flesh. Hmmm, why here's the fellow ... Wiry, fast, firm, proud buttocks. Reminds me of me.
Well, that's odd ... I've just robbed a man of his livelihood, and yet I feel strangely empty. Tell you what, Smithers - have him beaten to a pulp.
Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans!
Look at them, Smithers. Goldbrickers.... Layabouts.... Slug-a-beds! Little do they realise their days of suckling at my teat are numbered.
We must crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya.... In that I mean, it's time for the worker of the week award.
Hmmm. . . eternal happiness for one dollar? I'd rather keep the dollar.
Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a "New" Mexico?
And a couple of random funnies:
Sideshow Bob: Attempted murder, really, what IS that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?
And one by Kent Brockman: Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch.
AND, here's a Forbes "profile" of Mr. Burns, which is pretty funny: http://www.forbes.com/2005/12/06/montomery-burns-wealt_cx_de_05fict15_1206burnsprofile.html
Ironic, isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. When opportunity knocks, you don't want to be driving to a maternity hospital or sitting in some phony-baloney church. Or synagogue.
I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant.
I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children.
What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?
I'm looking for something in an attack dog. One who likes the sweet gamey tang of human flesh. Hmmm, why here's the fellow ... Wiry, fast, firm, proud buttocks. Reminds me of me.
Well, that's odd ... I've just robbed a man of his livelihood, and yet I feel strangely empty. Tell you what, Smithers - have him beaten to a pulp.
Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans!
Look at them, Smithers. Goldbrickers.... Layabouts.... Slug-a-beds! Little do they realise their days of suckling at my teat are numbered.
We must crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya.... In that I mean, it's time for the worker of the week award.
Hmmm. . . eternal happiness for one dollar? I'd rather keep the dollar.
Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a "New" Mexico?
And a couple of random funnies:
Sideshow Bob: Attempted murder, really, what IS that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?
And one by Kent Brockman: Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch.
AND, here's a Forbes "profile" of Mr. Burns, which is pretty funny: http://www.forbes.com/2005/12/06/montomery-burns-wealt_cx_de_05fict15_1206burnsprofile.html
Labels: funny quotes, Mr. Burns, TV shows
posted by The Big Seester | 12:48 PM
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