More Completely Unoriginal Movies from Hollywood
Good grief! Is Hollywood even trying anymore? They are starting to remind me of a particularly unpleasant ex-boyfriend of mine. They basically phone in the entire relationship. They are late for every date, never come up with an original idea, and then when I get restless and annoyed and suggest that we spend time apart, they whine and complain that they really love me. They don't want to break up and they don't understand why I have problems with the relationship. (Inferring that I am the problem, not them.)
So here's the tripe Hollywood is currently offering:
1. Freedom Writers. It's Dangerous Minds, Stand and Deliver, and all the other "Deeply Caring Teacher goes into ghetto high school and really turns those kids around, even though 1 semester of caring cannot make up for 12 years of sub-standard education, and these kids will still be lucky to work at Mickey Ds." You know it; you've seen it. (On a related note, strip dancing will not get you into a ballet company, not matter how much you want it to.)
2. The Hitcher. Which I swear was a movie in about the mid-80s with Rutger Hauer (whatever happened to him?) and the kid from The Outsiders. What was his name again? You know - the youngest one - Ponyboy. Anyway, it honestly looks like a remake, and even if it isn't, you already figured out the plot, haven't you? When Mom warned you not to pick up hitchhikers, she wasn't kidding.
3. We Are Marshall. Which is based on a true story, but is basically just like every single underdog sports story you've ever seen. At least it's uplifting. Although I can no longer look at Matthew McConnaughey (sp?) without giggling, thanks to the naked bongo incident. Which probably isn't a good thing when you are watching a movie about dead teenagers.
4. Alpha Dog. Which appears to be the story of a bunch of rich white kids who have embraced gangsta culture, with the requisite ANOMIE (note the use of the cool Economist word) that comes along with it. I have seen the previews, and it honestly reminds me of a movie I saw in the mid or late 80s called River's Edge, which featured Keanu Reeves, Crispin Glover and Dennis Hopper. It was about a teenager who murders his girlfriend and then tells all his buddies about it. They spend the entire movie reacting to this (she was their friend too, after all) but nobody thinks to call the cops. The Who is so full of it. The kids are NOT alright.
5. Stomp the Yard. Which is another "Wow, Black People Have Great Rhythm" movie, like Save the Last Dance and the one about the drum corps. Of course, it's mixed with an "out of town underdog" vibe, a la Footloose (which proved that White People Have Terrible Rhythm).
Plus of course there are any number of sequels out right now.
See, Hollywood is fat and lazy, sitting on my couch with a beer in one hand and the other hand down their (unbuttoned) pants. Hollywood wants to know WHY I want to go out to dinner, when after all there's food in the house, and football on TV.
That's OK. I have Blackadder 3 AND 4 at home right now from Netflix. So I will spend the night with Rowan Atkinson and Hugh Laurie. You lose, Hollywood! There's 70,000 Ways to Leave Your Lover.
So here's the tripe Hollywood is currently offering:
1. Freedom Writers. It's Dangerous Minds, Stand and Deliver, and all the other "Deeply Caring Teacher goes into ghetto high school and really turns those kids around, even though 1 semester of caring cannot make up for 12 years of sub-standard education, and these kids will still be lucky to work at Mickey Ds." You know it; you've seen it. (On a related note, strip dancing will not get you into a ballet company, not matter how much you want it to.)
2. The Hitcher. Which I swear was a movie in about the mid-80s with Rutger Hauer (whatever happened to him?) and the kid from The Outsiders. What was his name again? You know - the youngest one - Ponyboy. Anyway, it honestly looks like a remake, and even if it isn't, you already figured out the plot, haven't you? When Mom warned you not to pick up hitchhikers, she wasn't kidding.
3. We Are Marshall. Which is based on a true story, but is basically just like every single underdog sports story you've ever seen. At least it's uplifting. Although I can no longer look at Matthew McConnaughey (sp?) without giggling, thanks to the naked bongo incident. Which probably isn't a good thing when you are watching a movie about dead teenagers.
4. Alpha Dog. Which appears to be the story of a bunch of rich white kids who have embraced gangsta culture, with the requisite ANOMIE (note the use of the cool Economist word) that comes along with it. I have seen the previews, and it honestly reminds me of a movie I saw in the mid or late 80s called River's Edge, which featured Keanu Reeves, Crispin Glover and Dennis Hopper. It was about a teenager who murders his girlfriend and then tells all his buddies about it. They spend the entire movie reacting to this (she was their friend too, after all) but nobody thinks to call the cops. The Who is so full of it. The kids are NOT alright.
5. Stomp the Yard. Which is another "Wow, Black People Have Great Rhythm" movie, like Save the Last Dance and the one about the drum corps. Of course, it's mixed with an "out of town underdog" vibe, a la Footloose (which proved that White People Have Terrible Rhythm).
Plus of course there are any number of sequels out right now.
See, Hollywood is fat and lazy, sitting on my couch with a beer in one hand and the other hand down their (unbuttoned) pants. Hollywood wants to know WHY I want to go out to dinner, when after all there's food in the house, and football on TV.
That's OK. I have Blackadder 3 AND 4 at home right now from Netflix. So I will spend the night with Rowan Atkinson and Hugh Laurie. You lose, Hollywood! There's 70,000 Ways to Leave Your Lover.
posted by The Big Seester | 12:40 PM
4 Comments:
C. Thomas Howell - YES! That was really bothering me! What ever happened to him?
I can remember when The Outsiders came out, soooo many of my friends thought he was sooo cute.
Those were heady days. Rob Lowe, Ralph Macchio, Emilio Estevez, Tom Cruise, Patrick Swayze and Matt Dillon were all in The Outsiders.
The only two I remotely thought were cute were Patrick Swayze and Matt Dillon.
TBS
I thought they were all hot stuff, but you wouldn't have liked Macchio and Howell. Too baby-faced and cute. :-)
I had forgotten Patrick Swayze was in that. Tom Cruise, too. I remembered Lowe, Macchio, Dillon and Howell...I may have to add that movie to my Netflix queue.
Please tell me Tom Cruise was the twerp who ends up getting killed near the beginning!
Ummm. No. I think he was one of the greasers. I remember that Patrick Swayze was the oldest brother, Rob Lowe was the middle brother (Sodapop) and C. Thomas was the youngest brother. Then there was Johnny (Macchio) who killed the rich kid at the beginning of the movie.
BUT... the parents were dead, so Patrick Swayze was the only "adult" around, with the end result that all the other greasers hung around at their house all the time, including Macchio, Estevez and I think Cruise.
I haven't seen the movie in 20+ years. But I remember reading a lot of SE Hinton's books, including this one, which is probably why the characters are still memorable for me.
And you're absolutely right - Ralph Macchio and C. Thomas Howell were definitely too babyfaced for me. I gravitated towards Patrick Swayze and Matt Dillon. (But the winner was Patrick: his character had a J-O-B and was basically law-abiding, whereas Matt Dillon's character was T-R-O-U-B-L-E!)
Post a Comment
<< Home