Deep Question
MAJOR DISCLAIMER: de gustibus non est disputandum (there's no accounting for taste)
These are MY opinions about Christmas music. If I insult your absolute favorite Christmas song, too bad. Get your own blog and make your own list!!!!!!
OK, so now that it is actually December, I have plugged WNIC into my car radio presets (never fear, it will be de-programmed on my way home from Dad's Christmas night!) and am listening to all Christmas music whenever I go anywhere. I have realized that there are several categories when it comes to Christmas music:
Terrific classics would include Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, Andy Williams, and Karen Carpenter (yes, I know, her brother is the King of the Cheese People, but her voice is so lovely I don't care that his arrangements are nauseatingly sweet. I mean, he makes Shirley Temple look streetwise!)
Cheesy newer ones... well, honestly I can't be too specific, because I'm a station-flipper when bad songs or new songs I don't like come on, but I would put Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You in this category, as well as anything by Kenny G. I'm sorry - I just don't like him. Well, his music anyway.
Pretty good new ones would include just about anything by Amy Grant (I especially like Mary's Song), and a few others. Martina McBride has a rendition of Do You Hear What I Hear? which is pretty nice, and there's a version of Mary's Boy Child (a Caribbean song) which is OK.
Cheesy old ones... this includes things like Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas (Burl Ives), Rockin Around the Christmas Tree (Brenda Lee) and Feliz Navidad by that dude whose name I can't remember. You know, they aren't stellar Christmas songs, but they are still a part of Christmas, and I would probably feel ripped off if I didn't get to hear them a couple of times.
Then there are terrible Christmas songs. You know the ones I am talking about...the dogs barking Jingle Bells, Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer and The Chipmunk Song.
There is a sub-category of terrible Christmas songs: unintentionally funny and lame songs like Do They Know its Christmas? and John Lennon's Christmas song. (I don't know the name of the song. He and Paul both had Christmas songs out. I used to think that Paul's was shallow and John's was deep. Now I recognize that Paul's is shallow and John's is indicative of his imperious, 'I know better than you the evils of the world' attitude which I find so sanctimonious and patronizing. Which explains why my favorite Beatle is George.)
AAAAANNNNNYYYYWWWWAAAAYYYY...
I was out running errands a couple of nights ago, and The Chipmunk Song came on. Now, I have heard this song umpty-squat times in my life (I think it came out in the 50s, but don't quote me on that, but it's been around ever since I can remember) but I never had this thought until now: How did they DO that?
C'mon. Think about it. We all know they are not REAL chipmunks. Listen to it carefully (I know it's painful) and try and figure it out. It was recorded before digital altering was possible. My original thought was that they were inhaling helium, but I can't hear ANY "sucking sounds" (except that the whole record generally sucks, but that's a different story altogether). I don't think it's falsetto (like Barry Gibb). That leaves my current theory: that they recorded it at a different speed and speeded it up to sound all high. If you listen, you'll notice that they are over-pronouncing a lot of the lyrics, like they knew they were going to be altering it. I'm thinking that the human on the song (Is his name Dave? That's what's popping into my head, which really scares me. Why do I know these things?!?!) recorded all his parts in real time, and then "Alvin, Simon and Theodore" recorded theirs at maybe 16 rpm, and then they speeded it up to 78 rpm, and then they spliced it together.
Does anyone have any Chipmunk Theories they can put out there? And yes, I was a big X-Files fan, so if Smoking Man fits into your theory, I will still listen to it.
If, on the other hand, you just want to expound about how amazing John Lennon was and what a Philistine I am for not falling down and worshiping him, be warned. You will be mocked mercilessly. Especially since today, 26 years after his death, Yoko Ono said she still cannot forgive the man who shot him.
But...all we are saying is Give Peace a Chance!
These are MY opinions about Christmas music. If I insult your absolute favorite Christmas song, too bad. Get your own blog and make your own list!!!!!!
OK, so now that it is actually December, I have plugged WNIC into my car radio presets (never fear, it will be de-programmed on my way home from Dad's Christmas night!) and am listening to all Christmas music whenever I go anywhere. I have realized that there are several categories when it comes to Christmas music:
Terrific classics would include Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, Andy Williams, and Karen Carpenter (yes, I know, her brother is the King of the Cheese People, but her voice is so lovely I don't care that his arrangements are nauseatingly sweet. I mean, he makes Shirley Temple look streetwise!)
Cheesy newer ones... well, honestly I can't be too specific, because I'm a station-flipper when bad songs or new songs I don't like come on, but I would put Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You in this category, as well as anything by Kenny G. I'm sorry - I just don't like him. Well, his music anyway.
Pretty good new ones would include just about anything by Amy Grant (I especially like Mary's Song), and a few others. Martina McBride has a rendition of Do You Hear What I Hear? which is pretty nice, and there's a version of Mary's Boy Child (a Caribbean song) which is OK.
Cheesy old ones... this includes things like Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas (Burl Ives), Rockin Around the Christmas Tree (Brenda Lee) and Feliz Navidad by that dude whose name I can't remember. You know, they aren't stellar Christmas songs, but they are still a part of Christmas, and I would probably feel ripped off if I didn't get to hear them a couple of times.
Then there are terrible Christmas songs. You know the ones I am talking about...the dogs barking Jingle Bells, Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer and The Chipmunk Song.
There is a sub-category of terrible Christmas songs: unintentionally funny and lame songs like Do They Know its Christmas? and John Lennon's Christmas song. (I don't know the name of the song. He and Paul both had Christmas songs out. I used to think that Paul's was shallow and John's was deep. Now I recognize that Paul's is shallow and John's is indicative of his imperious, 'I know better than you the evils of the world' attitude which I find so sanctimonious and patronizing. Which explains why my favorite Beatle is George.)
AAAAANNNNNYYYYWWWWAAAAYYYY...
I was out running errands a couple of nights ago, and The Chipmunk Song came on. Now, I have heard this song umpty-squat times in my life (I think it came out in the 50s, but don't quote me on that, but it's been around ever since I can remember) but I never had this thought until now: How did they DO that?
C'mon. Think about it. We all know they are not REAL chipmunks. Listen to it carefully (I know it's painful) and try and figure it out. It was recorded before digital altering was possible. My original thought was that they were inhaling helium, but I can't hear ANY "sucking sounds" (except that the whole record generally sucks, but that's a different story altogether). I don't think it's falsetto (like Barry Gibb). That leaves my current theory: that they recorded it at a different speed and speeded it up to sound all high. If you listen, you'll notice that they are over-pronouncing a lot of the lyrics, like they knew they were going to be altering it. I'm thinking that the human on the song (Is his name Dave? That's what's popping into my head, which really scares me. Why do I know these things?!?!) recorded all his parts in real time, and then "Alvin, Simon and Theodore" recorded theirs at maybe 16 rpm, and then they speeded it up to 78 rpm, and then they spliced it together.
Does anyone have any Chipmunk Theories they can put out there? And yes, I was a big X-Files fan, so if Smoking Man fits into your theory, I will still listen to it.
If, on the other hand, you just want to expound about how amazing John Lennon was and what a Philistine I am for not falling down and worshiping him, be warned. You will be mocked mercilessly. Especially since today, 26 years after his death, Yoko Ono said she still cannot forgive the man who shot him.
But...all we are saying is Give Peace a Chance!
posted by The Big Seester | 2:24 PM
9 Comments:
Nothing to add about the Chipmunks. BUT, I will be a most willing reader of any blog that says this about John Lennon: "'I know better than you the evils of the world' attitude which I find so sanctimonious and patronizing." Even in my secular, socialist, fallen-away Catholic days, "Imagine" made my skin crawl.
And "Do They Know It's Christmas?" IS so unintentionally funny. "There won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime." Is it splitting hairs to point out that most of Africa is situated between the tropics and that in December, everything beneath the Equator is in the Southern hemisphere, and thus it's summer.
And isn't it a GOOD THING for everyone that the greatest gift we'd get is life? I guess the alternative "greatest gift" would be to die on Christmas and go straight to heaven. Back when the celebs were rescuing Africa, did anyone ever really say, "Glad I got a Sony Walkman. . . if I were in Ethiopia, all I'd get is life?"
And I have a confession . . . "clanging chimes of doom" makes me snicker. Edgar Allan Poe's "The Bells" captures the mood of bells much better than Geldof did here.
Ah, well. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. :-)
Well, I'm partial to the Chipmunk song. As in, for me, it falls into the "if I don't hear it once or twice during the season I feel a little ripped off" category.
My understanding was always that the Chipmunks were put together, as you suggested, by manipulating the RPMs. However, since we grew up in the same house (with a Chipmunks 78, no less), I probably heard the theory from you - or at least from the same source you did.
I used to love John Lennon. Now I don't. He wasn't a very Nice Guy by pretty much all accounts but Yoko's, so...
(I don't agree with CWAM's assessment of "Do They Know It's Christmas" - but give me a few years. After all, I used to like John Lennon...)
CWAM,
AWESOME! High five! There are actually a lot of people who have escaped the mindcontrol that is John Lennon adoration. And you have unwrapped DTKIC? way more than I have. I just get soooo cheesed off about sanctimonious millionaires...
The line that always made me gag was "Where nothing ever grows..."
EXCUSE ME? Either Africa is the cradle of civiliazation or it's not. But if nothing ever grows there, it cannot support human life. PLUS, I believe the Ethopia famine was exacerbated by warlords who weren't allowing the food to get to the people. I mean, originally there was a crop failure or something, but all the aid food went on the black market. (Of course, I could be getting this confused - there are a lot of famines in Africa.) Either way, I believe that DTKIC? was the beginning of the "consumer-based aid" wherein it's no longer cool to simply write a check to, say, the Red Cross or Caritas. No, I must PURCHASE something in return.
Which in turn spawned the attack of the killer ribbons, and then the rubber bracelets. Charity as commodity. BLECH.
I really am thinking about hiring an artist to draw a drooling gryphon rampant. What is the Latin for "People Are Morons?"
In the meantime, Illegitimi non carborundum.
TBS
DJ,
I have seen the John Lennon doodles baby gear. I'm sure that Yoko has donated all the profits to UNICEF or something. I mean, corporate America is THE MAN, so she couldn't possibly be participating in that.
Mrs. DJ sounds like Brenda Lee? Cool!
Ahhhh, Jose Feliciano. You know, I actually typed that into my blog post and then deleted it, because I was sure I pulled that out of thin air. Wow. I retain the MOST useless information EVER.
The Clam swears that my mind does the most bizarre stream of consciousness thing ever, so here's where that went.
What was his name??? (I go through a list of all the Hispanics from that era that I can think of, which is more than you might imagine.) Then I come up with Jose Feliciano. Then I decide that I must be making that name up - it doesn't sound real. Then I start singing, "Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine...I like to drink you with a little salt and lime..."
Then I laugh hysterically and decide to leave the name blank.
I swear I never did drugs.
TBS
Clam,
I cannot take your theory as fact, since we have the same theory emanating from the same place.
Are there any actual facts out there? (And the person who quotes Wikipedia will be laughed at...since apparently there was a Wikipedia entry which said that John Siegenthaler assassinated President Kennedy, when we all know who really did it...)
TBS
Clam,
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, would be to find the lyrics to DTKIC? and read them ten times. Read them without getting that warm feeling we get whenever we think about our childhoods. Just read them objectively.
Then tell me it isn't a load of horsepucky.
TBS
Ahem.
http://www.chipmunks.com/history.php
Same technique as "The Witch Doctor" - recorded at half speed, played at normal speed.
Not everything that came out of our childhoods was bunkum - Dad probably told us about this.
Okay, that's really disturbing, because I can sing the Witch Doctor song without having to resort to technical trompe l'oeil all over the place.
You're right - Dad probably ruined the mystery for us.
Are you going to meet my challenge?
TBS
I agree with your assessment of all the annoying Christmas songs - "Grandma Got Done In By A Reindeer" is the worst. A cartoon was made about it, "Based on the world's most beloved Christmas song," they used to say on the trailers, and Dean and I would just grind our teeth.
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