Men I have a secret crush on
OK, so the title is a little bit of a cheat.
Most people who know me know that, when it comes to celebrities, I prefer them dead. Well, that's not exactly accurate. I'm not a necro - I mean that I prefer the ones who happen to be dead, mostly because my ideal man comes from an earlier generation. I just don't dig the uber-sensitive, pierced male of today. I prefer the strong, silent man that once was. John Wayne in The Quiet Man, if you will. Well, they can't be silent all the time, because that could get lonely. But they are definitely MEN - not steroid munching troglodytes, but men nevertheless, who a girl can count on if needs must.
You know, supposedly there's this concept that you have a list of 5 celebrities that you (ahem) get a free pass with. If you know what I mean. (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more!) Well, for me it's a moot point, because any celebrity I would even think of putting on that list is no longer with us:
Gary Cooper
Humphrey Bogart
Gregory Peck
Steve McQueen
???
I don't know who the 5th one is, but you get the idea. Yes, Cary Grant is not on the list. He is wonderful, but I don't want to go out with a guy who always looks so sharp that I look sloppy in comparison.
Anyway, most of my friends and relations know about my feelings about, say, Steve McQueen. That's not a secret.
However, I also have certain embarrassing little secrets. Men that, at first glance, you might think are completely not my type. But, even though they are not strictly "my type," they have somehow endeared themselves to me in a way which warms the cockles of my heart. (What is a cockle in that context?)
The first is Rumpole. Horace Rumpole (of the Bailey). Yes, he's 20 years older than me (and a fictional chacter to boot). He's also... sturdy, he smokes (eeewwww) and he drinks rather a lot of fairly cheap wine. But he is also very funny, smart and well-read. Quite appealing. And yes, he's a defense attorney (egads!) but I have noticed that his clients tend to be innocent, so what he actually does is get an innocent man off and nail the perpetrator at the same time. (In real life, they are usually guilty, so a successful defense attorney wouldn't be my cup of tea.) I first realized my feelings for Rumpole about a month ago. I was reading a story, and his wife (Hilda - She Who Must Be Obeyed) got upset at him, and I had this fleeting, "Geez - he's actually a pretty great husband - why are you always down on him? Poor Horace!" thought. Which got me thinking, who are the other men in my life?
Well, I'd have to say Inspector Morse. OK, bad choice - he's an alcoholic. But he's so very clever and well-rounded and has a sharp, interested brain. (Plus he can do The Times crossword in about 60 seconds.) In reality, it would never work between us. He doesn't have the gentle personality or easy-going manner of Horace Rumpole. He's pretty cranky, actually. And there's the drinking thing. Not cool. But then, I'd probably be nagging Horace to quit smoking too.
The third is definitely the most embarrassing of the three. I am not ready to share his identity with you yet. Perhaps later.
Most people who know me know that, when it comes to celebrities, I prefer them dead. Well, that's not exactly accurate. I'm not a necro - I mean that I prefer the ones who happen to be dead, mostly because my ideal man comes from an earlier generation. I just don't dig the uber-sensitive, pierced male of today. I prefer the strong, silent man that once was. John Wayne in The Quiet Man, if you will. Well, they can't be silent all the time, because that could get lonely. But they are definitely MEN - not steroid munching troglodytes, but men nevertheless, who a girl can count on if needs must.
You know, supposedly there's this concept that you have a list of 5 celebrities that you (ahem) get a free pass with. If you know what I mean. (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more!) Well, for me it's a moot point, because any celebrity I would even think of putting on that list is no longer with us:
Gary Cooper
Humphrey Bogart
Gregory Peck
Steve McQueen
???
I don't know who the 5th one is, but you get the idea. Yes, Cary Grant is not on the list. He is wonderful, but I don't want to go out with a guy who always looks so sharp that I look sloppy in comparison.
Anyway, most of my friends and relations know about my feelings about, say, Steve McQueen. That's not a secret.
However, I also have certain embarrassing little secrets. Men that, at first glance, you might think are completely not my type. But, even though they are not strictly "my type," they have somehow endeared themselves to me in a way which warms the cockles of my heart. (What is a cockle in that context?)
The first is Rumpole. Horace Rumpole (of the Bailey). Yes, he's 20 years older than me (and a fictional chacter to boot). He's also... sturdy, he smokes (eeewwww) and he drinks rather a lot of fairly cheap wine. But he is also very funny, smart and well-read. Quite appealing. And yes, he's a defense attorney (egads!) but I have noticed that his clients tend to be innocent, so what he actually does is get an innocent man off and nail the perpetrator at the same time. (In real life, they are usually guilty, so a successful defense attorney wouldn't be my cup of tea.) I first realized my feelings for Rumpole about a month ago. I was reading a story, and his wife (Hilda - She Who Must Be Obeyed) got upset at him, and I had this fleeting, "Geez - he's actually a pretty great husband - why are you always down on him? Poor Horace!" thought. Which got me thinking, who are the other men in my life?
Well, I'd have to say Inspector Morse. OK, bad choice - he's an alcoholic. But he's so very clever and well-rounded and has a sharp, interested brain. (Plus he can do The Times crossword in about 60 seconds.) In reality, it would never work between us. He doesn't have the gentle personality or easy-going manner of Horace Rumpole. He's pretty cranky, actually. And there's the drinking thing. Not cool. But then, I'd probably be nagging Horace to quit smoking too.
The third is definitely the most embarrassing of the three. I am not ready to share his identity with you yet. Perhaps later.
posted by The Big Seester | 1:56 PM
1 Comments:
I, for one, would like to know the identity of Secret Crush #3. Do tell!
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