It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
That, by the way, is completely original. I just made that up. Pretty cool, huh?
Actually, I think it was a song by Styx. Are there any Gen-Xers out there who can testify?
Anyhoo, on to the reason for the post. So last summer The Clam shocked and thrilled audiences around the world by becoming a member of the landed gentry. (Well, a homeowner anyway.) Thus proving that, although she cannot renew her registration without a kerfuffle (check out her blog if you don't believe me), she has her sh*t together in ways that I have only dreamed of. But, since she was brave enough to do it, I began to think that I might possibly do it. So, with only $20 in my savings account (just kidding!) I determined that I would become a homeowner this year as well. Hurray!
The first step was getting "pre-approved" (which is a stupid phrase, much like "pre-existing") for a mortgage. Now, I'm not telling you any $$$$ info, because even I display Clam-like tendencies in financial areas, but suffice it to say I shall not be buying in the Grosse Pointes. Now, I have a slight tendency to worry and obsess over things. Just a teeny tiny quirk, really. (ahem) The pre-approval, which should have been completed the day I called, took 7 days. That's right. Not because of me. Because of IT issues at the mortgage company. So I had a whole week to feel inadequate. It was lots of fun. The Clam was ready to kill me.
I have an appointment with a buyer's agent on Friday, and will keep you informed.
HOWEVER, (and here's where the "worst" comes in) our mother has decided that she is ready to shuffle off to Buffalo this winter as well. Well, the Southwest actually. So she is currently trying to sort through 60-some years of accumulated crap. Most of it she is trying to give to us. So not only do I need to sort through and de-clutter, I have stuff coming in faster than it is going out. What you must understand is that we have this sort of bizarre, white folk version of Chinese ancestor worship in our family. This is something clearly recognized and much ridiculed by the younger generation. However, there are 2 members of the older generation still around, and they rule the roost. With the end result that I have 3 sets of good china, and I've never been married. Pick your favorite and sell the rest, you say? HA! I cannot do that, because dead relatives once touched those plates. I am required to drag them through life, and some day burden my own children with them (if I even have kids). Even though they are "mine," I do not have rights of disposal. Now, unfortunately there are only certain things which fall into this category: china, silver, quilts and dressers (to keep the quilts in).
Keep in mind that I use a comforter, and when I tried to use one of the quilts, I was appalled that it could be so heavy and yet not warm enough at the same time! And that my every day dishes are Corelle. Plain white. I love them. They are very zen. And that I much prefer modern furniture (well, shaker or arts and crafts style anyway) to super ornate victorian stuff. I have an apartment full of furniture that I would never have picked, that I am not allowed to get rid of, but must at least "store" until further notice.
All of which is super upsetting, because I hate clutter. It really gets me down. I really like Scandinavian or Asian design (zen- you know). Now, I don't mean po-mo. I don't like uncomfortable furniture. I just mean clean lines and minimal clutter. At some point there is going to be a showdown in Dodge. I can feel it. Because I am not going to do this indefinitely.
Anyway, I'll keep you updated.
Actually, I think it was a song by Styx. Are there any Gen-Xers out there who can testify?
Anyhoo, on to the reason for the post. So last summer The Clam shocked and thrilled audiences around the world by becoming a member of the landed gentry. (Well, a homeowner anyway.) Thus proving that, although she cannot renew her registration without a kerfuffle (check out her blog if you don't believe me), she has her sh*t together in ways that I have only dreamed of. But, since she was brave enough to do it, I began to think that I might possibly do it. So, with only $20 in my savings account (just kidding!) I determined that I would become a homeowner this year as well. Hurray!
The first step was getting "pre-approved" (which is a stupid phrase, much like "pre-existing") for a mortgage. Now, I'm not telling you any $$$$ info, because even I display Clam-like tendencies in financial areas, but suffice it to say I shall not be buying in the Grosse Pointes. Now, I have a slight tendency to worry and obsess over things. Just a teeny tiny quirk, really. (ahem) The pre-approval, which should have been completed the day I called, took 7 days. That's right. Not because of me. Because of IT issues at the mortgage company. So I had a whole week to feel inadequate. It was lots of fun. The Clam was ready to kill me.
I have an appointment with a buyer's agent on Friday, and will keep you informed.
HOWEVER, (and here's where the "worst" comes in) our mother has decided that she is ready to shuffle off to Buffalo this winter as well. Well, the Southwest actually. So she is currently trying to sort through 60-some years of accumulated crap. Most of it she is trying to give to us. So not only do I need to sort through and de-clutter, I have stuff coming in faster than it is going out. What you must understand is that we have this sort of bizarre, white folk version of Chinese ancestor worship in our family. This is something clearly recognized and much ridiculed by the younger generation. However, there are 2 members of the older generation still around, and they rule the roost. With the end result that I have 3 sets of good china, and I've never been married. Pick your favorite and sell the rest, you say? HA! I cannot do that, because dead relatives once touched those plates. I am required to drag them through life, and some day burden my own children with them (if I even have kids). Even though they are "mine," I do not have rights of disposal. Now, unfortunately there are only certain things which fall into this category: china, silver, quilts and dressers (to keep the quilts in).
Keep in mind that I use a comforter, and when I tried to use one of the quilts, I was appalled that it could be so heavy and yet not warm enough at the same time! And that my every day dishes are Corelle. Plain white. I love them. They are very zen. And that I much prefer modern furniture (well, shaker or arts and crafts style anyway) to super ornate victorian stuff. I have an apartment full of furniture that I would never have picked, that I am not allowed to get rid of, but must at least "store" until further notice.
All of which is super upsetting, because I hate clutter. It really gets me down. I really like Scandinavian or Asian design (zen- you know). Now, I don't mean po-mo. I don't like uncomfortable furniture. I just mean clean lines and minimal clutter. At some point there is going to be a showdown in Dodge. I can feel it. Because I am not going to do this indefinitely.
Anyway, I'll keep you updated.
posted by The Big Seester | 12:18 PM
8 Comments:
Don't forget the pianos!
Just for the record, I can confirm everything TBS said about our family's weird ancestor worship thing. I'm frankly surprised we haven't kept the toilet seats from our deceased family members' homes. After all, they touched them!
I have three sets of stoneware. One is a small, Meijer-vintage set that my stepmom bought me when I moved because the family dishes clashed so extravagantly with my new kitchen. (The family dishes are Americana folk-art; my kitchen is Mediterranean grapes-and-olives.) I have a set of family stoneware that I rather like, which I used in my old apartment. And I have just taken possession of another set of stoneware that I don't particularly want.
Why did I take it, then, you ask? Well, because my mother tried to sound out my aunt about getting rid of it, and my aunt's reaction was "Dear Lord, my grandmother's dishes will be on eBay tomorrow!" She then told my mother that I might like it/want it someday, and that after all, they had stored it for how many years already? (Seven and a half, since my other aunt died, if anyone wants to know.) Her attitude is that if they've hauled something around for 20 years without its being used, TBS and I should be willing to haul the same thing around for another 30 years without its being used.
Insane. Don't get me started on the things that members of our family actually MADE (rather than just bought and used).
Yes. And the "hauling them around thing" is really what it comes down to. As I was saying to The Clam recently, the aunt referred to in her comment has her other grandmother's (our GGM's) Spode (fancy-schmancy china). GGM died in 1974. Said Aunt took possession sometime around then. I have NEVER SEEN the Spode, because it has never been unpacked in over 30 years. It has moved a minimum of 4 times, and I swear it hasn't seen the light of day in all that time.
This is insanity.
The cycle WILL stop with our generation. The only question is whether we will have a showdown with the older generation or whether we will meekly play along until they pass away.
Canuck,
And it IS creepy, right? It's not just seriously annoying.
More importantly, have you seen the Spode?
TBS
I've never even seen the Spode. I wouldn't know it if I had to identify it in court. I don't even know what color it is, though jade green would be my guess. (Don't ask me why; it's just a hunch.)
The Haviland (our other GGMs china, which our mother has), on the other hand, I have seen, have seen used, and think is very pretty. I don't object to their keeping the stuff. What I object to is 1) their keeping mountains of family stuff that they don't use and that just collects dust and takes up space, and 2) their insisting that we participate in their insanity.
*I* wanted to send the Poppytrail (the stoneware that I took home yesterday) to my great-aunt out in Idaho. She loved it, whereas no one else in our family did, and I frankly didn't care that she was an acquisitive fiend just like the rest of the family. If she was going to enjoy it, my attitude was to let her have it. However, even my mother (who is usually more sane than my aunt) put the kibosh on that. Now Great-Aunt has died, and there is NO ONE in the family who likes that *&*$$# ###$% Poppytrail, and it's going to sit in my basement until Mom and Auntie have gone on to The Great Family Room In The Sky!!!
(snarl)
My husband tells me that organizing is not just something I do to be, well, organized, but that I see it as a hobby.
Decluttering is a favorite pasttime.
So, I vote for HAVING A SHOWDOWN.
And get the Spode on Ebay! You will have a downpayment for the property you want in 2007. :-)
This may sound too nerdy, but the phrase "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times" (before styx) was actually from Charles Dickens' A tale of two cities. Don't ask how I knew that. And no, I haven't read the book =). Ok, back to lurking...
I came here from the Clamster's site (yes, I do call Kasia "the Clamster" behind her back. It's probably because I "met" her at The Curt JesTER".)
Get rid of the stuff you really don't like. Life is too short (and storage is too expensive) to saddle yourself with four sets of dishes. If you don't feel right putting it on eBay, there's also St. Vincent de Paul's Society (there's a big one in Clinton Twp.) or Freecyle.com
As for the furniture, see what you can make work. I love Mission style, so I took the Portuguese marble tops from Aunt Delphine's ugly Colonial endtables and put them on Mission bases. Looks great! (And the Colonial bases made good firewood.)
The other option is to box up the stuff and put them in the least-accessible part of your home; e.g. the bathroom closet. Then you can "forget" them in your next move. :)
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