My Virgin Voyage with the String Bags

So my string bags came Monday. Yesterday I needed to go to the grocery store, and decided that this would be a perfect time to test them out. I planned ahead, and brought them in my work bag with me. It was a good test, because I needed to get some heavy stuff: OJ, baby carrots, bananas and beef broth, as well as eggs, which are delicate.

First of all, the weather was not cooperating, because yesterday was cold and rainy. I got off the bus at my stop, and walked over to the Krogers. I used their cute little plastic basket to gather my things. Here’s what I bought:

Bananas, mushrooms, 1 lb. baby carrots, goat cheese, bread, 1 qt. beef broth (in a box, not a can), ½ gallon OJ, 1 dozen eggs and 1 gallon milk (it was on sale). I went up to a register (I didn’t self check out because I had old bananas, which I thought might be cheaper. They weren’t. Since when do they not give you a break on old bananas?)

I whipped out my bags and prepared to load, when (surprise, surprise) a bag boy came to pack my stuff. These days it’s a toss-up whether you will have to pack your own groceries. I handed him my bags, and he said (are you ready for this?)

“Uhhh, you want to use these bags? They seem like they are going to rip.”

ARGH! As someone who spent my hard-earned money on these string bags after numerous horrible experiences with Krogers cheap-youknowwhat bags, this really cheesed me off. I have chased oranges down the driveway, had apples so badly bruised that they were terminal, had to pick up numerous things that fell out of the bags, etc. I was furious and yet enjoying the irony at the same time.

I looked at him, and seriously pondered going off on how Kroger has progressively made their bags thinner, to the point where they now rip if you look at them cross-eyed. But then I thought, he’s like 16. He doesn’t care, and he has less than zero control of how Kroger Corporation makes policy decisions. So I didn’t let him have it. (Pause while I adjust my halo.)

I instead explained (politely) that they have been using these bags in Europe for years, and that they are guaranteed to hold 40 lbs. each. He said OK, and he, the cashier and I actually got into a brief discussion about the recent rulings in SanFran and Portland regarding plastic bags. (Which, of course, has nothing to do with my string bags, but it seemed more polite than, “Your bags are crap, CRAP I say!”)

I left the store with the long-handled bag over my shoulder, the short-handled bag in my right hand, and the gallon of milk in my left hand. It was still raining. Cold rain. But I gritted my teeth and went for it. If Hetty Wainthropp*** can do it at 60, then I certainly can do it at 30-and change.

I made it home, damp but triumphant, with all eggs intact, and the bread not squished. All in all, I think the bags work, and do what they are supposed to do. Hurray! I’m not relishing having to have a conversation with every cashier and bag boy at Krogers about how the bags ARE secure, but overall I would call this a success.

***Hetty Wainthropp is a character on a British detective series of the same name, starring Patricia Routledge as the title character. (Most Americans know Ms. Routledge as Hyacinth Bucket, pronounced bou-quet. As funny as she is in Keeping Up Appearances, I prefer her as the down-to-earth, no-nonsense Hetty Wainthropp.) The series is enjoyable and well worth checking out. Netflix has it. I'm just saying.