Sheryl Crow Fell Off the Deep End

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/21/AR2007042101385_pf.html

This just has to be read to be believed. Sheryl Crow has LOST IT.

Exhibit 1: I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

Exhibit 2: I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.

Let me get this straight. You want us to use only 1 square of TP per trip to the john. OK. No problem. Just know that I will be using 4 times the amount of soap and water to wash my hands with afterwards. Hope that's not a problem for you...

You want to revert to using our sleeves to wipe our mouths with at meals? Devolution, anyone? (Perhaps she's never heard of that nifty new invention, cloth napkins?)

Meanwhile, in the "the irony is so deep you could drown in it" category:

"Singer Sheryl Crow and environmentalist Laurie David have been traveling across America on a two-week Stop Global Warming College Tour" (on a biodiesel BUS).

"This next idea I have been saving but I will share it with you if you promise not to steal it. It is my latest, very exciting idea for creating incentive for us all to minimize our own personal carbon footprints. It's a reality show. (I feel pretty certain NO ONE has thought of this yet!) Here is the premise: the contest consists of 10 people who are competing for the top spot as the person who lives the "greenest" life. This will be reflected in the contestant's home, his business, and his own personal living style. The winner of this challenging, prestigious, contest would receive what??. . . . a recording contract!!!!!"

Just because the bus is biodiesel doesn't make it OK to drive all over the damn country! (Although it's a step up from David Suzuki, who didn't even use a biodiesel for his CC tour of Canada.) But still: TV, radio, internet, email...ringing any bells?

I have a better idea for the reality show, Sheryl: you, John Travolta, Barbra Streisand, and 7 other celebrities walking your talk for a month. No private jets, no tour buses, no yachts, etc.

That way we don't have to deal with yet another no-talent celebretainer inserting himself (or herself) into our lives. I cannot handle the sheer quantity of celebretainers already foisting themselves on me.

The really sad part is that these people (celebrities) are so incredibly narcissistic that they really don't see how very hypocritical they are. They genuinely don't see it. Of course, they don't see the hypocrisy of carbon offsets either.