So far I hate home banking

So, after much discussion with my personal tech stalkies, The Canuck and DJ, I decided to try online banking.

So far, I hate it.

First I had to fill out a form and snail mail it to my credit union.

Then they sent me back a piece of paper with my pin number (great. another number to remember.)

I log on and try to get going, with The Canuck on the phone from Canuckia for support, only to find out that there's another step, and I have to wait until they email me to tell me it's OK to start.

(Can you hear the "24" clock ticking in the background, as the due date for my bills comes closer and closer?)

Then, I start asking questions that The Canuck doesn't know the answer to, since, as has been pointed out in other places, Canada is in fact a foreign country, and that becomes blatantly obvious when it comes to things like banking (and Beer Stores).

So I have to wait until today to try again from home. I know better than to try and do this on my lunch, because if you attempt to log in from strange computer, they will want to know the answers to the confirmation questions, which are not easy questions like What is your mom's maiden name? What hospital were you born in; but rather, quantifiable questions like what is your favorite food (all depends on what day of the month it is, buddy my pal), who is your favorite band? (I dunno. Does it have to be a rock band?) You can see how this might cut into my lunch and complicate things.

So I wait until I get home. I purposely don't start any other projects because I want to get this done, when I realize that my complete lack of a filing system in my new place is not helping the situation. Of course, the fact that I have actual panic attacks about forgetting to pay a bill and getting evicted from my home doesn't help either.

Anyway, after much looking through my pile o'paper and checking and double-checking the bills that I have paid (last month), I sit down again, at 10 pm, with my stack of bills in my hand, ready to go.

AND I CAN'T GET ON TO THE STUPID SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This stinks!

Plus I am so scared that a bill is not going to get paid. I'm not kidding. It really has me freaked out.

Do you think it's too late to back out of this now? I'm someone who has done email statements in the past, only to cancel it after a couple of months because I'm certain the Kremlin is monitoring my statements.

I don't like feeling not in control of when and how things get paid. I don't like worrying that I'm going to get hacked. I don't like that I have now spent HOURS on this and yet NONE OF MY BILLS ARE PAID.

I hate this. Make it stop.

Are You Able to Comment?

So I noticed that there haven't been many comments recently, which I took to mean:

1. You are all busy and/or possibly sick
2. You hate me and don't want to post on my stinky blog
3. Something is wrong with blogger. AGAIN.

Well, the other day I got an email from The Canuck saying that he tried to post a reponse to my call for Techhie help, and he kept getting an error.

So I decided that #3 was the correct answer. Hurray! You like me...you really like me!!!

Anyway, to take an informal survey, would you please try to post a response to this post? If you can't do it, please email me at
da(underscore)big(underscore)seester(at)yahoo(dot)com

If enough people tell me that, I guess I will try to switch to another blogging station. (Although, just to make a point, stupid blogger made me "upgrade" to google blogger recently, and I somehow changed my user name to my email address. Yes, the whole thing. No, I don't know how. Yes, I would like The Clam or The Canuck to help me fix it. Yes, I am computer illiterate.)

Part Two of My Techhie Woe

So...when last we left our plucky reporter, she was exhausted and frustrated because she had:

1. Bought a useless Sony DVD/VCR which wasn't an "R"
2. Returned said useless piece of crap
3. Been told by the Salesdude at Worst Buy that she was hopelessly out of date in her choice of technology, and that the only way to remedy this terminal uncoolness was to spend upwards of 1K on new crap (which will be obsolete before you can say Jack Robinson)
4. Went to Target, Kmart and Walmart. Ended up with a nifty new combo TV/DVD/VCR by Magnavox for $170 that is supposed to fill all my needs.
5. Got sopping wet because I did all this in the rain. (Except for buying the original thing, because that was the day before).
6. Realized after trial and error that my nifty new TV/DVD/VCR wouldn't fit in my car. So I called The Clam, got her out of a nice warm bath and made her come rescue me.
7. Got home at 9 at night, cold, wet and hungry.
8. Posted my incredible frustration.

And now... the punchline!

The damn VCR part doesn't work!!! It will play a tape. Audio only. Well, yippee skippy.

So guess what The Clam gets to help me do next?

PIECE OF CRAP.

Another Sheryl Crow Post

So apparently now Sheryl says the whole "one sheet of TP per sitting" thing was a joke.

But I think that's a fib, and here's why: Go to the link I included on my original post and read the whole thing. Done already? Wow. You're a fast reader. Now let's test your comprehension skills.

Did you see what I saw when I read that? The entire blog is so achingly sincere. I mean, if this was the 1930s, Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland would be telling the gang that they can surely raise enough money to repair the roof of the orphanage if they just threw a big hootenanny in Farmer Clem's barn. Golly gosh gee willikers. It's sooo... earnest.

Now, I'm not criticizing that necessarily. My point is that there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of joking going on.

So, Sheryl, since you appear to be interwebs-impaired, here's a crash course in the blogosphere:

People cannot see your face when you type a blog entry. So, even if you are giggling hysterically as you type, don't automatically assume that everyone is going to get your joke. Therefore, there are methods of ensuring that people "get" your humor:

1. Type the word "grin" at the end of the funny. Like this... grin.
2. You could say "Sarcasm Off" (which indicates that sarcasm was "on" previously
3. You can make a winky face with only 3 keys: the semi-colon, the dash key, and the close parenthesis. Like so ;-)
4. Some modern computing machines will give you choices of funny faces to put into a document. They are called "emoticons." Some people don't like them, but I have it on good authority that those people are Nazis. grin.

See what I did there? I used one of my suggestions!

Try it for next time, mmmkay?

Canuck, DJ...any Techhies out there, HELP!!!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

OK, jims and sals...either I'm crazy, or everyone else is.

My el cheapo combo DVD player SLASH VCR decided to give up the ghost a couple of days ago. So yesterday, armed with my nifty Consumer Reports info, I went to Best Buy (with The Clam) and purchased a highly rated Sony combo unit (for $95). I thought I was doing great! Sony's a reliable brand, and therefore unlikely to keel over after 18 months like my last piece of crap did (to be fair, I bought said piece of crap cheaply).

The whole thing is complicated by the fact that my TV is (gasp!) 10 years old!

The Horror!!!

You see, I have a larger problem. I am a cheapskate. Thrifty. Frugal. A Tightwad. Or, as I like to refer to it, A Careful Consumer. I am just old-fashioned enough to believe in getting your money's worth, not spending money like water, and all the rest of that stuff.

I know that, very soon, everything is "going digital". I also know that HiDef TVs ROCK! However, I don't see myself spending a grand for a TV. Hello? It's The Boob Tube, People! So my PLAN was to keep my current TV for a couple of more years, until we "go digital" and (hopefully) the price of the HiDefs drops a little, while at the same time they have worked out more of the bugs. Better product for cheaper, right?

Well, the patron saint of television (St. Rita of Cascia? - Tim, am I right there?) wasn't watching out for me.

My DVD/VCR keeled over THREE WEEKS after the new models came in, and my TV won't work with any of them without an adapter. Which wouldn't be the end of the world, but... remember the nifty $95 Sony? Minor detail...this is funny... the VCR doesn't R. That's right. They are marketing it as a Video Cassette Recorder, but it's actually a Video Cassette Player. Minor difference.

See, here's the thing: I don't watch a ton of TV, with a couple of exceptions. One of the big exceptions is TCM (Turner Classic Movies). I loooove old movies. And lots of the best ones are on during the day. So I have a choice: play hooky to watch a movie (in which case, I won't have my job for long) or tape the movie while I'm at work. Now, before you get all judgy, understand that a lot of the movies on TCM are not even AVAILABLE on video, so it's not like I'm trying to get something for free that I could buy. (Besides, I pay for the channel each month.) So, I watch TV, rent DVDs from Netflix, and watch movies that I have taped off TCM. That's IT.

You wouldn't think that what I want is so outmoded, would you? Well, you're WRONG! I might as well have asked for a new Victrola needle! One guy tried to sell me a $300 DVD recorder. (I informed him that I am NOT going to pay $300 for something that is likely to be obsolete in 2 years. Money doesn't grow on trees, you know?)

Anyway, it soon became clear to me that I was going to have to suck it up and buy a new TV. So, for $170, I bought a Magnavox TV/DVD/VCR combo. Yes, I know, combos aren't a good idea. Too flipping bad. Hopefully it will last me a couple of years at least.

Canuck, DJ, anybody: Advice? Comments? Is there a better, a cheaper way for me to do this? The TVs (not HiDef either) weren't a whole lot cheaper than what I bought. I still have the receipt, so, I can return it...

And, BTW, I went to Best Buy, Target and WalMart.

I don't understand how these corporations think that anyone can afford to replace their technology so often, as well as pay through the nose for cable, TiVo etc...

Is there a better option than what I chose?

Any feedback would be very helpful. If you find any typos, keep it to yourself. I'm not in the mood.